The (Abridged) Backstory of Mary-Sues
by PhyscoWriter
Summary: Follow Cynthia, your typical Mary-Sue, as she grows up living on the streets and just trying to find her place in life, until she becomes the ninja of- I don't really care, read or don't read. Not 100% accurate to every Mary-Sue backstory. Lots of sarcasm and cussing. Read with caution and a sense of humor.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, I am PhyscoWriter, and like many of you, I hate Mary-Sue OC's. Let me repeat that I hate Mary- Sue OC's. Not all OC's, just the Mary-Sues. And even though most OC's either are Mary-Sues, or turn into them, because making a decent character isn't always easy. Lastly, my warnings.**

**WARNING, THIS STORY HAS CUSS WORDS, AND WILL USE THEM IN EVERY CHAPTER, AND POSSIBLY SEXUAL REFERENCES (I haven't decided on that part yet) READ WITH CAUTION (Or don't, I lost my innocence to Fanfiction... Also South Park) NOT SUGGESTED FOR YOUNGER READERS. OR MY FRIENDS WHO FREAK OUT WHEN I CUSS!**

**WARNING! THIS STORY MAY CAUSE YOU TO HATE ANY/ALL OC'S ! IT IS NOT 100% ACCURATE TO EVERY MARY-SUE OC BACKSTORY, IT IS MORE OF AN ABRIDGED VERSION! NOW FUCKING READ!**

Cynthia was just an average Mary-Sue OC, her parents were dead, she lived on the street, was the most beautiful person you'll ever meet, did I mention her parents were dead? Because they were, they were very dead. Just in case we didn't stress it. They were dead.** (Dead, dead, dead!) (So fucking dead)**

As a child, Cynthia lived an amazing life, even though her parents were poor and they lived in a one story, three room house.** (The first room was a kitchen, bedroom, and living room, the second was a bathroom, and the third was where they kept the bodies)**

And did I mention that her bathroom was a bucket. It was rusty and filled with nails, and they didn't have a sink, you were just supposed to piss on your hands afterwards. After you took a piss **(Logic) **

Shortly after she turned six, her brother died. They were told it was from tetanus, as well as about eight other dieseases, including 'Big Ass Sydrome' as the street hobo told her and her family while he harvested her brothers organs for twelve bucks.

But her life was still amazing! Even though her brother was dead, her parents were constantly high and drunk, and her family was poorer than Kenny's from South Park!

It was just so fucking awesome!

But tragically, when Cynthia was seven, her parents were killed by a gang who was opposed to the way they dressed like colorblind Kindergartners **(It actually caused one of their members to go blind) **

But for some reason, they decided to spare her.** (Why? Her unexplainable beauty and charm, not being able to shoot a young child after brutally murdering her parents moments before, or convienence for the author, who knows?) **

So they just kidnapped her instead, teaching her how to kill people and do drugs.

And thus began the regrettable secret that takes half the story to bring out of her, only for her future teammates to be totally okay with without thinking for more than eight seconds **(and that's being generous)**

**And bring on the flames, I got marshmallos and everything!**

**But seriously, this is just a funny story, if you take so super seriously, you're a moron.**

**Until the next chapter, I'll be enjoying some marshmallows.**


	2. Chapter 2- The Orphanage

**Hey! I'm back! Here is chapter 2! No freakishly long warning, just sayin hi and shit. HI. And, as quoted from the first chapter "NOW FUCKING READ!" **

When she was fifteen, she fell in love with one of the gang members** (cue montage of them making out over the dead bodies of random people they just killed, and doing drugs together) **But of course, it wasn't real love, because he wasn't one of the ninja, and he was mean. Very mean. He killed people. And that was mean. So there is no possible way that it could've been real love. At all. Ever.

So she decided to run away. The good news: she was no longer a gang member. The bad news: the gang was in controlled the refrigerator box she wanted to live in.

Seeing that there was no other option, she waved the figurative white flag** (which was also her underwear)** and decided to live in an Orphanage. Like a normal orphan living on the streets would do.

But at the Orphanage she went to, everyone bullied her, for no reason! The minute she walked into it, someone threw a water balloon filled with mayonnaise on her **(it may or may not have been a staff member)**

The day afterwards, they stole all of the clothes while she was showering and dyed them pink. And cut hole in them. And threw them in dog pee. Then they pooped on it **(seriously, they took turns crapping on her clothes, they really wanted to get revenge on her for using up the orphanages supply of water for the month for her shower)**

When she got out of the shower, she was not the least bit upset, because she was still blinded from the mayonnaise water balloon that had exploded in her face the previous night, and she somehow couldn't smell the human feces on her clothes.

She got laughed at a lot that night. Like even more than usual. She just couldn't figure out why

Cynthia just didn't know why the other orphans despised her very existence so much. Maybe it was because of her amazing beauty, or all the fucking talent she had in everything, or maybe it was because she accidentally lit their only meal for the week on fire. She just couldn't understand it.

But finally, she just couldn't stand it, she decided to wave the white flag** (which was now pink and covered in shit) **and leave the orphanage**(the suffering was just unbearable. And not the lack of food, just the bullying. **and she ran away from the Orphanage.

She lasted there eight whole days.

After leaving the Orphanage, she decided to rejoin the gang, since she needed a place to leech off of for food and water.

And tragically, when she tried to rejoin them, she was shot in the head, and she died immediately.

**The End**

**(Just kidding, she was totally fine, her awesome Mary-Sue powers kept her alive, and totally not the hospital she happened to wake up in) **

And sadly, she comes even closer to meeting the ninja, and becoming even more annoying.

**Next chapter: College Years (and you have no idea how excited I am for that one)**


End file.
